True Love Waits
by RiaMaria
Summary: Can true love overcome anything? Maybe even death itself? My entry to the Halloween Countdown. AH, B&E  Reposted as I deleted it by mistake - whoops!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I can't, because this is fanfiction. That is the nature of the beast.

I wrote this one-shot for the Halloween countdown run by Breath-of-Twilight. It had been running around in my head forever, and I was just glad of a reason to let it loose to be honest!

~oOo~

**True Love Waits**

"I can hear you Bella... and I'm _faster_ than you!"

I couldn't help the small sob that escaped as I heard his voice closing in behind me. I tried to use my fear to spur me on, as I ran harder than I ever had in my life through the school corridors, desperately hoping for salvation to appear in front of me.

But it didn't.

The florescent lights burned brightly as I ran, the usually safe halls taunting me with their bareness and lack of the hiding places I so desperately needed. I had kicked off my stupid shoes a few minutes ago, making it easier to run, but unfortunately leaving James breadcrumbs to follow me by.

He was a fair way behind me but gaining fast, pursuing me, no doubt with the intention to finish what he had just started.

The green satin dress I had bought especially for the Valentine's dance was torn, and my hair was in complete disarray from the struggle earlier outside the school gym, when I had finally realised what I had let myself in for by agreeing to go to the dance with James.

I had only moved to Forks in September, in time to start my junior year here at Forks High, and from the very first day James had pursued me.

At first I had been slightly confused; I was nothing special, yet he constantly flattered me and flirted with me as if I was a super model. He was one of the best looking boys in school, a senior and the quarterback on the school football team with a bad-boy image. When he had started paying me attention it had immediately made me the enemy to a lot of the other girls in the school.

Fortunately, I quickly made friends with two girls who both already had boyfriends, and they helped me settle into school life relatively easily. Alice and Rosalie were also both juniors, and by Christmas I couldn't imagine my life without them.

Alice thought that the only thing that would make things better would be if I also had a boyfriend on the football team, the same as both Jasper and Emmett. As soon as she realised how much attention James was paying me she encouraged me to talk to him, hoping our little band of five would swell to six, no doubt.

I had left a boyfriend back home in Phoenix, but the long distance thing never works when you're seventeen and we eventually broke up shortly after Christmas. So, when James had asked me to the dance, I really had no reason to say no.

What I hadn't reckoned on was what he had expected tonight.

James arrived late to pick me up, but was respectful to Charlie as he waved us off from the door, his moustache twitching as I walked away on another man's arm. But the moment we got into the car James had pulled out a flask and taken a long drink, before handing it to me.

"Here you go, Bella; it'll loosen you up, babe." He winked as he pulled away from the curb, and I sniffed the flask, recognising the smell of whiskey from the occasional glass Charlie had on special occasions.

"No thanks, I don't really drink," I replied as I tried to hand it back to him.

"No. I said have a drink." He glanced towards me, and his expression was dark, no sign of the smile he had flashed at me every day for weeks.

"Um... ok," I said in a tiny voice as I took a sip. It was horrible, and I choked a little on the bitter liquid. I had tried wine with Alice and Rosalie recently, and had quite enjoyed that (we had all ended up a bit tipsy, and I'd had to spend the night on Alice's bedroom floor, for fear of Charlie realising that I was drunk) but this was different.

"Good girl. See, I know what's good for ya." James smirked as he took the flask from me again and took another long drag, taking his eyes off the road for several seconds as he did.

"James, _Christ_, look where you're going!" I shrieked as I clung to the 'oh shit' handle for dear life.

"Nervous passenger, are we, Bells?" He swerved the car rapidly from side to side a few times, and I bit down on my lip to stop myself from making any more noise, as that seemed to have only made him worse. I had already realised that the boy who had been shamelessly flirting with me for weeks appeared to have vanished, only to be replaced by a monster.

I sat in silence for the rest of the drive, determined that the second we arrived at the school I was going to go and find Alice and Rosalie, and spend the rest of the dance avoiding James. I cursed the fact that I had left my phone at home - not able to fit it into the miniscule purse that Alice had chosen to go with my outfit tonight - otherwise I could even have phoned Charlie to come and rescue me.

We arrived at the school, and as I made to jump out of the car, James caught my arm and restrained me.

"Hey, let's go for a walk before we go in, Bells, I don't feel like sharing you just yet. It's taken me so long to get you all to myself." He leered at me, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I naturally tried to pull away from him, his grip on my arm was too tight, and I wanted him to let me go.

"James, it's freezing out, and I only have this thin dress on. Let's go inside and dance, it'll be fun."

_Or I could just dump your ass the second I get in there, you fucking weirdo._

"No, let's go inside the school then. I'm not going in there with all the others yet, maybe after we've had a bit of fun on our own." He suddenly reached down with his free hand and squeezed my thigh hard, pulling my skirt up well over my knee as he did.

"No!" I tried to pull away, and he suddenly let me go, making me fall back against the passenger door. As he jumped out of the driver's door, remarkably quickly, I tried to open the passenger door, only to find it was locked. I jerked on the handle but it wouldn't open, and as James' face appeared in the window looking down at me, for the first time I felt really afraid.

"Deadlocks," he whispered as he opened the door and caught me by the arm again. "Meant to keep people out. Very good at keeping people in too though."

He yanked me out of the car, and I searched the parking lot desperately, looking for anybody I could call out to, for help. But despite the fact that I was frightened, I was also feeling a little self conscious. I couldn't decide if I ought to be screaming for help, or if James was just messing about. Would everybody think I was an idiot if I started screaming blue murder when he hadn't actually really _done_ anything to me?

"Look, James," I said, trying to keep my voice steady and sound in control. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but I'm going into the gym to have fun at the dance. You can either come with me, or not. It's up to you." I tried to shake his hand off of my arm, but he simply tightened his grip even further, making me gasp with pain. I knew that I would have finger shaped bruises on my arm in the morning.

"Look, you little cunt," he spat, and I cowered as he slammed my back against the car and shoved his face close against mine. "You've been fucking teasing me for months, flirting and then pulling away from me. I know what you need, and I'm going to be the one to give it to you." He ground his pelvis against me, and I felt sick when I realised I could feel his erection rubbing against my stomach.

"No," I said, still trying to sound forceful, but I couldn't help but notice that this time it sounded more like a whimper.

"Oh yes." He pressed his lips against mine, and roughly thrust his tongue into my mouth, forcing it in and out quickly as he rubbed his hard on up and down against me. I squirmed trying to get away from him, but he only seemed to enjoy that, and it made him grind against me harder.

I managed to pull my face away and tried to scream, but before I knew it I was on the ground, the breath knocked out of me by the blow that he had just landed to my stomach.

"I don't think so, Bells." He reached down and dragged me up into a standing position by my arm, almost pulling it out of its socket as he twisted me around roughly.

He pressed me against the car again and continued kissing me, but when I felt his hands tear the top of my dress, exposing my bra to him, something in me snapped. I would not allow this to happen. I would not allow this asshole to rape me without a fight.

Remembering the self defence moves that Charlie had taught me over the years, I tried to relax, before I snapped my knee up as hard as I could between James' legs. There was a deeply satisfying shriek as he went down, but I didn't stop to look at him, I didn't think, I just ran.

_And I ran the wrong fucking way._

Straight away from the gym, and into the empty school. There wasn't a sound to be heard from within the building, only the dull thump of the music coming from the gym accompanying the slapping sound of my quickly bare feet against the vinyl floors.

The first few classroom doors I tried had been locked, but now I had given up stopping to try them. He was too close, and the end of this race now felt inevitable. In my mind I was already wondering how I would face what he was going to do to me. If I just gave him what he wanted, would he at least not hurt me anymore?

Suddenly I tripped over my own feet. I hit the floor hard, and I felt my nose break with a sickening crunch. The blood started to drip down my face immediately and I couldn't hold back the scream of pain. But even over that I could still hear the sound of his footsteps coming after me.

"Shit, you have no idea how much more fun this is going to be after chasing you, you fucking prick tease!" He yelled, the sheer savagery in his voice enough to get me moving again.

I had fallen just outside the library, and I could have cried with gratitude when the door opened when I pushed it.

I staggered inside, searching desperately for somewhere to hide, but as I walked through the stacks I realised that there was nowhere out of sight. If he followed me in here, he would surely find me.

I crept into the darkest corner on the furthest side of the library, and I sank to my knees behind a table. The tears streaming down my face mingled with the blood pouring from my nose; it was taking everything I had not to make any noise. My chest burned as I fought to restrain my gasping breaths, knowing that even the slightest sound could give me away.

My stomach dropped as the door creaked open, and in the light coming in from the corridor behind him, I saw James grin as I peered through the chair legs in front of me.

"I think you tripped," he said softly as the door closed behind him. "And the handy little trail of blood you left leads straight in through this door. I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly, Bella, or you might not get the full experience of what I'm going to do to you now."

I held my breath, trying to be silent, trying to hide where really there was nowhere _to _hide... trying to hold back the sobs that were building up inside my chest.

"Every girl in the school wants me, Bella Swan. But you've been teasing me for months. Wearing that tight little skirt all the time, flirting and smiling with me one minute, then talking about this supposed boyfriend the next." He grabbed at his crotch for a second, and a shiver ran through me. "I'm going to fuck that tight little virgin pussy of yours so hard you won't be able to walk for a week. No one will believe you if you cry rape; I could have anyone, what do I need to force you for?" He laughed, and I could hear that he was drunk. "You know, I think I might even enjoy it more with you screaming, babe."

The sob I was so desperately fighting to contain suddenly broke free, and he crowed as if in victory, sending a sharp jag of fear through me.

But then, there was nothing. He didn't make another sound for what felt like a long time, but was maybe only a minute or so. I sat still, trying to be as silent as possible, all the while trying to work out where he was, until suddenly I heard him call out to me from much closer than he had been before.

"Marco... ... Aren't you going to play, Bella?"

Just as I thought the fear was going to completely overwhelm me, I felt a shift in the air around me. Suddenly instead of shivery and afraid I felt warm and safe, as a soft voice that I was certain wasn't even there told me not to move.

"MAR - CO..." James was getting closer, but now it didn't seem to matter. I was safe. I felt protected, as insane as that might sound, and I knew that everything was going to be alright.

Suddenly the main lights for the library went on, and I was completely exposed. James's eyes looked straight at me from by the light switches... but instead of recognition, I could only see frustration.

"Bella... Where are you, my pretty girl?"

I was curled up, making myself as small as possible with my arms wrapped around my legs as I sat on the floor in the bright lights, but even as James stared directly at me, he didn't seem to be able to see me.

The air around me seemed to become thicker, and it shifted softly, almost like a summer breeze as it whispered to me not to move, not to make a sound, that it would protect me, but only if I helped.

James silently stalked up and down the stacks, looking down each one as the expression on his face became more and more angry.

As he moved through the room, even the unexplained feeling of safety surrounding me couldn't quell the sheer panic that began to break through. The rage in James' eyes had begun to look more like madness, and I began to wonder if the worst thing he would do if he found me tonight was just rape me. I couldn't control the trembling that began to overwhelm my body, and the only thing that stopped me from revealing myself in my terror was that voice that wasn't a voice, which only seemed to exist in my head. It kept telling me to hold on, don't move, don't breathe, don't even blink, and it would protect me.

"Well... _FUCK_!" James screamed a couple of minutes later, as he kicked a small filing cabinet terrifyingly close to where I was sitting. It skittered across the floor on its castors, a large dent showing just how much force he had slammed into it.

At that he charged out the door, slamming it behind him as he bellowed my name down the corridor outside. As I heard his footsteps as he started away from the library, I finally allowed myself to breathe again.

"Thank you," I whispered, not sure who I was speaking to, but I could still feel the air around me shifting softly, warming me, protecting me, almost holding me if that were possible.

There were no words, but simply an unspoken knowledge telling me to stay where I was, stay still, as once I moved it couldn't protect me again.

So I sat, not wanting to move, as I knew the second I did this strange connection would be gone, and that was something that felt strangely upsetting to me. Of all the things that I should have been feeling upset about that night, this seemed on the face of it to be the least of them, but I didn't want to let this connection go. I felt safe and happy, it was like I had found home in the unlikeliest of places, and I didn't want to give it up just yet.

"What is this? What are you?" I asked, my whisper sounding loud in the silent library. I was desperate for answers, but I didn't get any. Only the certainty that I had to stay still, be safe, until someone came to rescue me.

About twenty minutes later the library door opened again, and I immediately tensed up. The feeling of protection was still wrapped around me, but under the harsh lights it was hard to believe what had happened just a little while ago.

_Please don't leave me._

"Bella?"

"Alice?" I recognised that voice, and when I dared look up I saw Alice and Jasper looking around the room, searching for me, clearly also unable to see me as I huddled directly in front of them.

I waved to them, anxious to prevent them from leaving the room, but not sure my legs would actually take my weight right then. Immediately the feeling I had been cocooned in was gone. Part of me ached for it to come back, but I was quickly distracted from that by Alice's screech.

"_Bella?_ What the _fuck _happened to you?" She was racing towards me with Jasper hot on her heels. He was on his cell as he ran, but still managed to keep up with her.

"James is a fucking psycho, that's what happened to me." I put my hand up to my face, and despite the fact that the blood had been my own stupid fault, I had been running from James, and it was nothing compared to what could have happened. I glanced down and realised that my bra was showing, and I quickly yanked up the pieces of my torn dress to preserve my modesty in front of my friends.

"Oh, Jesus, did he..." she didn't seem to know how to finish that sentence, and as she dropped to the floor beside me her face was a mask of anguish.

"No... no, but only because I got away from him... He was going to rape me, Alice." And, now that I really was finally safe, the tears began in earnest, and I clung to Alice as Rosalie and Emmett burst through the door.

Alice and Rosalie helped me up a few minutes later, and cleaned me up in the nearby bathroom while the boys called Charlie to tell him what had happened. By the time I was ready to face the world again, the entire of Forks police department was at the school, and the library was full of teachers who had been supervising the dance, as well as cops.

Charlie was there as the Chief, instructing his men on what to do in their hunt for James. He had severely beaten another student in the parking lot a few minutes after he had left me, obviously taking out his frustration on him, before he had vanished into the night.

The moment Charlie had finished organising the manhunt though, he was by my side in an instant, and pulled me into the first hug I think we had shared since I was a small child.

"Oh Bells, thank God."

"I'm ok, Dad. I just want to go home. _Please_?"

"Of course, baby. I've put Richie in charge for tonight; I don't think I'd be able to think straight if I knew you were home without me this evening." He was still clinging to me, crushing me against his chest, and it felt wonderful. My dad smelled of Old Spice and his musty old Police Jacket - the smell of home.

A moment later he began to lead me gently towards the door, his arm never moving from around my shoulders. But just as we left, I couldn't stop myself from turning and taking a final look back to where something or someone had saved me. As I walked away, I couldn't help but feel I was leaving something behind that belonged to me.

~oOo~

James was picked up later that night, running along the road just outside of Forks town limits, as high as a kite. Charlie told me later that he was carrying cocaine and ecstasy, as well as half a bottle of whiskey, and had punched the arresting officer in the face before they managed to restrain him.

I thanked God that Charlie hadn't been the one to pick him up, as in the state he was in I was pretty sure that he would have made short work of James. Charlie slept on my bedroom floor that night, neither of us quite comfortable enough with him even just next door. He helped me into bed, and kissed me on the forehead as he whispered goodnight. It was something else I remembered from when I was a little girl, and despite everything that had happened, I felt safe and loved as I fell asleep to the rhythmic sound of my father's snores.

The first few days after the attack were strange. The dance had been on a Saturday night, but the school was still closed by Monday morning as the police were still gathering evidence. What they hoped to gain by then I wasn't sure; I thought the fact that both Connor and I were able to testify that it was James who had attacked us, plus the fact that he had been picked up with various illegal substances in his pockets would have been enough. But as it was it wasn't until Tuesday that we returned to school, and I was finally able to do what I hadn't been able to stop thinking about ever since that night.

Charlie, Alice and Rosalie had fussed over me all weekend - while I wasn't giving statements to the police or being checked over by Doctor Gerandy that is - but despite what had happened I felt remarkably ok. Better than ok maybe; _good_. Rather than thinking about what James had done, or should I say _tried_ to do, all my mind could focus on was what had happened in the library.

What was it that had protected me that night? No matter which way I looked at it, I was certain that something had happened, something magical or strange or...

I just didn't know what.

At first I tried to reason it away. James was so high, he had simply not seen me, even though my hiding place behind a table in the corner of the library wasn't really much of a hiding place at all.

But I knew that wasn't true. He had obviously heard me, as when he'd turned the lights on he'd been looking straight at me... But he didn't see me. In fact, he had looked straight through me.

And then there was Alice and Jasper. They hadn't seen me until I'd called out to them, when really they should have seen me almost as soon as they walked into the room. I had to have stood out in my emerald green dress, curled up on the grey linoleum floor.

And so it went on. My mind had tumbled and twisted and turned trying to explain what had happened, but in the end it came down to one irrefutable fact. When I thought about what had happened, a crazy part of me wanted to go back to those few moments when something had protected me from the eyes of a madman, as I had never felt more alive in my life.

By Monday I was climbing the walls, desperate to get to school to go back to the library and see if I was mad, or just plain lucky. I could have screamed in frustration when Charlie told me that I wouldn't be going in for another day yet.

By the time Tuesday came around I didn't have the patience to wait. I was awake at six, dressed by half past, and waiting outside for the janitor to unlock the school doors by seven.

My truck was the only thing in the parking lot on that dark and cold February morning, and as I sat and waited for the school to be unlocked I had to force myself not to think about what had happened to me the last time I was here. I left the engine running to keep the heater working, and in a way the fact that all I had to do was slip it into gear to pull away was a comfort to me. Although I had other things on my mind I wasn't an idiot, and I knew how close I had come to something very bad on Saturday night.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the doors being finally being unlocked at a quarter past seven, and I slipped out of my truck and ran towards them as soon as the janitor had walked away. Now that I was here, I couldn't decide if I was more terrified or excited, but there was one thing I was certain of. I had to _know._

I wasn't sure quite what I expected as I flew through the library doors a couple of minutes later.

There was no sign of what had happened on Saturday night, not a strip of police tape to be seen, and the grey room looked as peaceful as it usually did, maybe a little emptier than it looked during most of the day, but no different. The rain softly tapping against the windows was the only sound as I walked towards the table I had hidden behind on Saturday night, and I made an effort to be quiet with the chair as I pulled it out to sit down.

I closed my eyes and concentrated, not sure what I was looking for, but knowing that I would recognise it if I felt it. I folded my hands on the table and looked down, and wondered what to do now.

"Thank you," I said softly, before I stopped to think about what I was going to say. I waited for a moment, feeling a bit odd talking to an empty library, but really not knowing what else to do.

"I... I don't know what else to say," I opened my eyes and looked around the room, but it was unchanged. "I'm not sure what happened here on Saturday night, but I feel... I felt something... Someone I think. Can you even hear me?"

Nothing happened, nothing stirred, and after sitting in silence for a few minutes more I began to feel ridiculous. What had I been thinking? James was obviously so doped up he just plain hadn't seen me, and I had been so frightened I had simply imagined what I thought I felt. The human mind is a wonderful thing, I thought to myself sardonically.

"I'm such an idiot," I muttered as I stood, but before I could even fully stand up, I felt the softest of movements against my skin. It was like a baby's breath against the back of my neck, warm and barely there, but it was _there._

"Hello?" I sat down again with a thud, turning in my seat as I did to look at the bare wall behind me. In that softest of breaths I had felt it all again; the warmth, the safety, the feeling of rightness I had never felt before, and I could have growled with frustration when it vanished again as soon as I moved.

"Please..." I half whispered, half sobbed. That one tiny thing had been enough to make me certain again, but now I wanted more. I wasn't sure what was happening, but I knew it made me feel... _happy_, for some inexplicable reason.

This time I sat still and waited. I didn't talk or move or hardly even breathe. I needed to feel it again. I needed to feel... _him_ again.

After what felt like an age, but according to my watch had only been twenty minutes, I felt the warm movement of air around me again. I sat still and enjoyed the feeling of belonging that overwhelmed me as the sensations grew, until I felt surrounded again. I made a soft noise of pleasure as tingles shot through my body, making me feel alive, and _home_.

"Who are you?" I whispered, not daring to speak much more than that in case it broke the connection I was feeling, but my mind was filled with only one thing. Like before there were no words, but my soul was filled with certainty that I had been right.

Something was here, and it belonged to me.

~oOo~

After that day my routine changed. Every day I was awake at the crack of dawn, and it was no longer unusual for me to be standing at the school doors as they were unlocked. After a few weeks I learned that the janitor's name was Simon, and that he had a wife and two small daughters. We smiled and joked with each other most mornings as he unlocked the doors, letting me in to make my way to my seat in the library.

I told Charlie that I was studying, which in its own way was the truth.

Every morning I went and sat down in my usual spot. I spread out my books and began to study; all the while hoping that today would be a good day.

My grades had never been higher due to my extra hours in the library. I got to the point I often ran out of homework to do, and took to reading ahead and taking work for extra credit, just to have something to distract me from the bad days.

On a good day it came quickly. It would start with a soft caress on the back of my neck, a movement in the air that built until I was surrounded with comfort, and the tingles that ran up and down my spine. There were never any words, but I could hear a greeting in my mind some days. Sometimes I could feel a happiness echoing in my mind that reflected my own.

Bad days were more common though. On a bad day I would sit and study, and simply wait until the bell for classes went. Some days I felt utterly alone as I sat in the quiet room, while on others, even though the connection I longed for wasn't there, I knew that I wasn't.

Sometimes I talked, and over the months I think I said everything that there was to say about myself. When I was in a bad mood I grumbled, and when something nice happened to me, I chatted about that too.

I never got a reply, but I had given up waiting for that. I was content that sometimes when I was in a particularly foul mood I seemed to be held tighter, and when I was happy I felt it reflected back at me. Even though I had no real reason to believe it was true, I could feel that I was being listened to.

I was careful not to reveal what I was doing to my friends, but after a few weeks both Alice and Rosalie would join me in the library closer to the start of school. On good days I would curse them as they arrived, wanting to do nothing more than revel in the connection for the few short minutes I was allowed. But more often than not I was glad to see them, to distract me from my disappointment.

And so the rest of my junior year passed me by, and when summer came around I volunteered at the kids clubs that were run at the school through the holidays, as I knew that I would go mad if I didn't have access to my addiction for so long. As it was, at the end of summer, the kids clubs ended and there was an entire fortnight when I couldn't get in to visit my favourite spot in the whole world.

I _ached_.

The night before school started again I hardly slept, and that morning I was standing at the door when Simon opened it, my heart hammering like a drum. I snatched the door open as he unlocked it, and didn't take the time to reply to his question about how my summer had been as I ran through the corridors towards... _him_.

As the days and weeks had passed, I had accepted that the presence I felt wasn't just a presence. It was someone... a man, or a boy, _someone_. I tried not to imagine who it might be, worried that it might be some pervy old man, but I accepted that it was certainly someone. I didn't know who, or what. Maybe a ghost, or an echo of the past. I wasn't sure, but as time moved on I spoke to him like he was a friend.

Though, in truth, I spoke to him like he was more than a friend. I told him secrets I had never shared with anyone; I spoke about my dreams for the future, and the fears that plagued me on sleepless nights.

And, as senior year began, I told him about my fears of going off to college. My worries that having just regained my father, after living away from him for so many years, I might only be about to lose him again when I moved away for school. I told him about my fears of what lie ahead of me, and where I should go. Part of me longed to study French in Paris, but I wasn't sure if I had the strength of character to go and live in a foreign country all by myself. And, finally, I confessed to my fear of having to leave Forks High when graduation came around, and leaving _him _there. Of living my whole life and never again feeling the way I felt as I sat here alone, but not.

I wasn't sure what frightened me most.

It was a cold and dark Tuesday at the end of September when Alice appeared in the library far earlier one morning than was usual.

"I thought so," she said as she sat down in her usual seat opposite me. "At what time do I need to get here to beat you, do you think, Bella?"

"Huh?" I looked at Alice, feeling puzzled as her eyes appraised me coolly.

"You're always here, every morning, however early Rosalie and I make it in. Jasper told me that your truck is here every morning when he arrives for training, and that is fucking _early_, Bella."

"I'm studying." I was feeling defensive already. What right did she have to question when or why I was anywhere?

"Why here though? You know this is virtually the exact spot we found you that night, right? Of course you know." She frowned at me, before she continued. "What are you hoping to gain from sitting here day after day, honey? At first I thought you were just trying to come to terms with what happened, but now I worry that you're beginning to wallow.

"Wallow?" I snorted. I hadn't thought about James in what felt like forever.

"Why else are you sitting here, B? I don't think it's healthy."

"Well, bully for you." I didn't say anything else to Alice, and after a few minutes she pulled her books from her bag and settled down to work.

But whatever I had said to her, something in her words stuck with me, and by that Friday I found myself still in bed at a time I would usually have been standing in front of the school doors, waiting impatiently.

I missed my mornings in the library, and I don't deny that some days I literally had to hold myself down to prevent myself from running out the door. But I also knew that come the end of the school year I would have to say goodbye forever, and that maybe it was better for me to try and live with my real friends, while I still had them.

A whole month passed, and every day it got harder not to rush to the library and wait for him. By the end of October I was pacing the kitchen floor by seven every morning, refusing to allow myself to leave for school any earlier than was normal.

But I just _missed him._ And one day I couldn't deny myself any longer. I was screaming through the rain covered streets at ten minutes to seven that morning, and as I pulled up at the lights outside the Thriftway, I realised that it was Halloween. The shop window was full of cartoon Jack-o-lanterns, and I made a mental note to stop off and buy some candy on the way home for the trick-or-treaters tonight. I remembered the story Mom had told me of when she was still with Charlie, and he rushed out one year to arrest kids pelting eggs at our house, only to find they were all about ten years old.

That had been the year Mom was on a health kick, and had decided to give out raisin boxes instead of candy. Needless to say, after that, candy was a priority on Halloween.

_Prevention is better than cure._

But now I was giving in and rushing to my spot in the library, I didn't even really think about the holiday. I had missed him so much. Even though I still went into the library during the day, it wasn't the same. I felt the occasional glancing breath against my neck, but when we weren't alone, it seemed as if the magic died.

I threw myself down in my seat a few minutes later and tried to relax. It was only seconds later I felt the familiar greeting of a caress on the back of my neck, and I almost groaned in relief.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I missed you so much," I moaned as the presence wrapped around me, growing thicker and thicker quickly, until I could swear I could actually _feel _it touching me. Not just a presence, but something real and concrete.

"What..." was all I managed as the presence became thicker still, until I could feel someone's arms wrapped around my shoulders. I closed my eyes, and reached my hand up to the now definite weight around my neck, and under my finger tips I could feel... an arm.

"_What?_" I shrieked as I opened my eyes and looked down, to be confronted by a warmly dressed arm in a check shirt, that seemed to be trembling.

Just as quickly as I had felt it, it was gone, and I swung around in my seat in panic to search for it, only to come face to face with the most beautiful boy I had ever seen.

He had dark red hair, and sparkling green eyes that stared at me in what looked like shock. He wore thick glasses with black frames, which did nothing to hide the beauty of his features; his square jaw, his plump lips, the way his eyes crinkled as his mouth formed a confused smile.

"_Bella_," he said, and although his voice cracked, I had never heard a more perfect sound. And though I had never set eyes on him before, I knew him, and I found I even knew his name.

"_Edward_."

We sat and gazed at each other in silence for several minutes, and I found that I felt the same in his presence as I had sitting here every day for months. I felt safe, and happy, and _home._ Finally I couldn't resist any longer, and I reached out and took one of his hands in both of my own, and lifted it gently into my lap. I stroked his long elegant fingers with mine, and for a moment I couldn't help but wonder if I was actually still in bed asleep, dreaming.

"How...?" I didn't know what to say. I had so many questions, but I didn't want to waste time if this was only going to last a few seconds.

"I'm not sure," he replied, and I looked up to find him watching our joined hands in wonder. "What's the date?"

"October 31st."

"_Halloween_." He looked at me meaningfully, and I frowned slightly, not sure what he meant.

When I didn't say anything in reply he simply shook his head, before he broke out into an enormous smile.

"I missed you," he said nervously after a few moments. "I thought... I figured you'd stopped coming."

"I did."

"But you came back."

"I couldn't stay away...How long...?" I was counting the seconds in my head, not sure if he was about to vanish in front of my very eyes at any minute. I had so much I wanted to say, to ask him, to tell him, but I didn't know where to start. I didn't want to waste an instant, but instead I seemed to be wasting them all as I fumbled for something to say.

"I don't know... I think maybe I get today."

Today? As in the whole day? Until sunset? It's not enough, but it's more than I had hoped for. My mind was running a mile a minute and I still didn't know what to say. There was too much, it was too much.

"Bella..." he whispered, and I realised that I was shaking my head slightly in my confusion. "Don't be afraid."

"I'm not." I looked into his eyes, and made myself calm down. "It's just... it's not enough. One day. Do you mean, until sunset? That only gives us maybe... eight or nine hours?"

"I think maybe midnight. It will be Halloween until midnight. Sixteen hours."

"It's still not enough."

"I know."

It seemed like hardly any time at all passed until the first bell rang. A few seconds afterwards Alice walked into the library, catching my eye immediately. She walked over to where we still sat at my table, and she sat down opposite us. As she did she glanced at Edward, and I recognised curiosity in her expression.

"Bella, I thought... Never mind." She looked towards Edward, and she frowned slightly, as if she was trying to work something out. "Do I know you?"

His hand suddenly stiffened in mine, and I felt him tremble slightly. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't know how.

"No, I'm visiting from out of town," he replied, but Alice's expression didn't change. "I'm Jacob, Bella's friend from Phoenix. I've just stopped by for today, it was on my way." He reached his hand towards hers over the table, and as she shook it her face relaxed into a smile.

"Oh... I _see._ Bella, you didn't mention you had a guest." She raised her eyebrows at me slightly as she recognised the name of my ex-boyfriend in Phoenix, and I realised that Edward must have remembered it from when I had talked to him some time over the last few months.

"Well, it was a bit of a surprise."

"Why are you here?" she hissed, looking at me as if she thought we could have a private conversation with Edward sitting right next to me. "If he's only here for one day..."

"I... um." I looked at Edward. I still wasn't sure what the hell was going on, could he actually even leave the library?

"How opposed are you to ditching for the day, Bella?" He raised one eyebrow at me, and my heart could have burst with joy at the very idea of being able to spend a day with him.

"Not at all... _Jacob_."

We both stood at the same time, and I looked down at our still joined hands. I didn't want to let him go, and when he squeezed mine slightly, I knew that he felt the same.

"I'll tell Mr Banner in homeroom that you're sick. With your record, they won't question one day," Alice said, looking at our joined hands with a soft smile.

I nodded at her in thanks, and started towards the exit, towing a slightly more reticent Edward behind me. The corridor outside the library was full of students by now, and I could feel his reluctance to leave growing as we approached the doors.

"Do you think you can?" I whispered, far enough away that Alice wouldn't be able to hear us, but I wasn't sure if she was watching us still, and I didn't want to turn around to check.

"I can... I just... I don't want to bump into anyone I knew... My brother is still here."

And with a click everything finally fell into place. Edward... was Edward Cullen. Emmett's older brother, who was killed in an accident three years ago, just before Emmett was due to start as a freshman. Emmett didn't talk about him, but Rosalie had told Alice and me what had happened one night, after Emmett had left one of our evenings at which I was the perpetual fifth wheel.

A week before Edward was due to start sophomore year, and Emmett was moving up into High School, Edward was coming home from work one night on his bike. He was hit from behind, and even though the driver stopped, he didn't stand a chance.

Their father was working in the ER when Edward was brought in; he had never gotten over the shock of seeing his eldest son arrive like that. Rosalie had told us that it had taken a year before he had been able to go back to work.

"Emmett," I whispered, and Edward nodded, the expression on his face telling me that he knew what I had just worked out. "It's ok, I know a way."

Sometimes over the summer, when I had _needed _to get into the library but the school had been closed, I had come to the school grounds anyway and wandered around. At first I had searched for a way to be close to my spot from the outside, but when that hadn't worked I had searched for a way in, until one day, I had stumbled across it.

The janitor's closet a little way down from the library had a window - and Simon smoked like a chimney. He left it open most of the time, and the window backed onto the school parking lot. From that day onwards I left my truck directly under that window, every day. Just in case.

It only took us maybe twenty seconds of walking through the halls until we reached the closet, but as I opened the door Edward hesitated.

"Bella... a closet?"

"Trust me." I replied, and as we ducked in quickly, hopefully unnoticed but I couldn't be sure, I saw him break out into a smile as he saw the open window.

We ran to it, and as we peered outside, I heard him gasp.

"Your truck? Seriously, you drive around in that thing? Jesus, is it even safe?"

"There are more dangerous ways to travel," I replied, before I even realised what I was saying, and his face fell.

"Touché," he replied, and I felt awful.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's ok, come on, the coast is clear."

He went ahead of me, slithering through the window and into the bed of my truck with ease, before he turned around to help me down.

"However do you do this on your own?" he asked as he lifted me down the remarkably high drop with ease, and I had to suppress a snort.

"I fall a lot."

"_Great._" He shook his head at me as we both scrambled into the cab of the truck, and as I slammed the door we both started laughing in relief.

"I feel like I just broke you out of jail."

"You kind of did." The laughter dried up as he scooted closer towards me along the seat, and took my hand again. "Do you mind...?"

"Shhh." I squeezed his hand tightly in my own, and wondered how I would ever live without it again. "Where to?"

"I don't know..." he whispered, as he looked down at our joined hands again. "We can't really go anywhere in public, somebody might... But I've been inside for so long... I always liked the beach, there's a little cove a way along the coast, there won't be anyone there right now, I'm sure."

I was sure he was right. It was freezing cold, and the rain only got heavier as we drove, but it didn't matter. I would have taken him anywhere he wanted to go that day, just to be allowed to be with him, and as we chatted in the car and he stroked my hand and then my hair, the sense that he belonged to me simply grew and grew.

It took almost an hour to drive where we were headed, and when we pulled up I angled the truck so it looked out to sea. A storm seemed to be blowing in, the sea swirled roughly, a dark grey colour reflecting the angry sky above.

I switched off the engine and turned to look at him. One of his hands was still gripped tightly in mine, the other was stroking my hair gently, but as our eyes met his movements stopped, and he blushed slightly.

"I'm sorry, I just... I can't seem to stop myself from touching you."

"I understand." I took the hand that was now resting in my hair on my shoulder and brought it to my lips. The jolt of electricity that shot through me when I kissed it was shocking, but perfect. "Is that... because of what you are?" I couldn't make myself admit that he was a ghost, not real, not permanent.

"It didn't happen when I touched your friend."

"You feel it too?"

"Of course."

I couldn't resist any longer - I closed the remaining gap between us, until the length of his body was pressed against mine, from shoulder to hip to ankle, and we both sighed at the feeling between us.

"I'm sorry, this is probably a crazy place to come to today," he said after a moment, as he slipped his arm around my shoulder. It felt so natural and familiar, I realised that we had sat together like this many times before.

"It's perfect."

"I've missed it so much; I used to come down here with Emmett and my folks all the time, in the summer though mainly. It was our place."

I turned slightly to look at him, and found him gazing down at me, our faces now only inches apart, and something struck me. "You don't look like a sophomore, you were what, fifteen when..." I couldn't say died, but he knew what I was trying to say. I had turned eighteen a month ago, but Edward looked older than me, definitely college age.

"Yes, fifteen. Something changed the night you came in to the library and I protected you from that lunatic. I knew I had to save you, but I felt like I needed to be... a _man_ to be able to do it. I think I look about the age I would have been if I had... lived." He pinched his nose between his thumb and his forefinger, in an expression that seemed strangely familiar to me. "That night I was almost hysterical, I was so determined to protect you, but I knew that the best I could do was to try and conceal you from him. If he'd seen you, I wouldn't have been able to do anything... I couldn't have taken that."

"Shh, you did it; I'm fine thanks to you." I could feel he was trembling slightly as his arm tightened around me, and I put my arm around his waist to try and comfort him. "How did you do it? I was still there, but he didn't see me."

"I don't know, I think it was sheer will on my part. No one could see me, so I thought maybe if I tried to wrap myself around you tightly enough I could hide you... I really don't know what I did."

"Thank you."

"You've said that before." He grinned, and I looked at his mouth and I wanted to kiss it so badly, so I did.

I closed the final inches between us and pressed my lips to his. It was soft and chaste, our mouths barely moving against each other, but it was magnificent. It felt like a jigsaw piece falling into place, like a seal and a promise of things to come all at once. I refused to acknowledge that it could also be a goodbye.

"You never did that before." He smiled when I pulled away a few moments later, and I couldn't help but return it at his words, his expression was so innocent.

We simply sat and held each other for a while, gradually slipping until he was lying against the passenger door, and I was almost lying on top of him. We watched the sea boil and the rain come down harder and harder on the truck's bonnet, until the air around us began to feel so damp it was uncomfortable. I couldn't bear to be the one to pull away, but suddenly he jerked when I shivered, growing cold even within his embrace.

"Shit, this is crazy," he said, dragging us both back up into a sitting position. "It's freezing, let's go somewhere else and get warm."

"My house is probably empty by now; my Dad has a twelve hour shift today."

"Ok, good, I mean, if that's ok..." He looked down at me a little uncertainly, but I didn't understand his trepidation. Why wouldn't I want him in my house?

"Of course it's ok... on one condition," I replied with a smirk.

"What's that?"

"You know pretty much everything there is to know about me. I want you to tell me about yourself, about your life, everything, as we drive home. I need to know... _everything_."

"I think I can manage that." He smiled, and as I started the truck and pulled away slowly in the pouring rain, he began to talk.

He told me about his life growing up in Forks, his younger brother Emmett, who was almost exactly twelve months younger than him, but had actually been taller since he was eight. He talked about his mom and his dad, and how he had hoped to follow in his father's footsteps when he was older and become a doctor.

Edward had never been sporty, and confessed to being a bit of a nerd, although he had been fairly popular with it. He was in the drama society, and had been in several plays during junior high. He loved books, and had spent many of his free hours in the school library reading.

"I still remember the day when I first realised that I would never be able to read every book ever written," he said with an embarrassed smile. "I was ridiculously upset."

"Is that why..." I paused and we were silent for a few moments, I didn't know how to ask him why he had been in the library all this time. I knew that he had been knocked off his bike just outside of Forks, on his way home from his holiday job in the local store.

"Maybe." He shrugged. "But I don't think so. At first I was trapped there, but after the night you came... Something has been calling me ever since. It's time for me to go somewhere else soon."

The truck swerved as I took my eyes off the road to stare at him, and Edward leapt forward and steadied the steering wheel in my shaking hands.

"Why?" My voice shook as Edward steered the car to the side of the road. I hadn't braked, but I had taken my foot off of the accelerator, and the truck slowed down quickly as I pulled over. We were nearly home, but I knew I couldn't drive as I listened to this.

"I think I was there, waiting for you. I think I've always been waiting for you." He stroked his fingers down my cheek as he spoke, and he smiled, even as his eyes glistened. "I should have been a senior when you started last year. And, I know, that the second I saw you I would have been captivated by you. I think you were made for me, and when things didn't go the way they were planned, I got to stay to save you."

"Then why are you still here?"

"I refused to leave. Seeing you, every day, it's made me stronger. I refuse to leave you." His expression was determined, but it wavered as I stared at him.

This time he kissed me, and it was passionate, full of everything that we wanted to say. His strong hands held me firmly against his body as I wound my fingers through his hair, and our lips and tongues moved frantically against each other. I had never felt anything like kissing Edward before, and it took all I had to quash the fear deep inside me that I never would again.

A few minutes later Edward began to soften the kiss until he pulled away, with a few soft pecks on my lips.

"We should go before someone sees us," he whispered. "Are you ok to drive? I'd offer but... I never learned."

"Yeah. I'm ok." Edward edged away from me enough that I could start the engine and pull away again, but not so far that he had to let go of me, and as I drove I relaxed into the sensation of his fingers tracing circles on the back of my hand.

We arrived back at my house a little later, and I was dismayed to realise that it was already early afternoon. My stomach growled as we walked in through the front door, reminding me that I'd missed lunch.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him, as I closed the door behind us, but he simply shook his head sadly.

"Oh." We both stood and stared at each other for a moment, and I suddenly realised that if we only had a few hours left, I couldn't allow them all to be sad. I wanted to know him, I _needed _to know him, and this was the only chance I was going to get. "Ok, you're going to have to watch me eat then." I grinned as wide as I could and grabbed his hand, before I dragged him into the kitchen.

"Well, I think that counts as torture, to be honest. You have no idea how much I miss a greasy cheeseburger." He groaned as he closed his eyes and licked his lips, and I laughed at his silliness.

"Yuk... Was that your favourite food?" I grabbed some leftovers from last night's dinner from the fridge and threw them in the microwave, before I set about making myself a cup of tea. I was freezing, and desperately needed to warm up. The cold hadn't seemed to affect Edward so much, but I was chilled through.

"We used to eat in the Lodge every Friday night – which, yes, I know, is a bit sad, before you say anything." He held his hands up in defence, but I just smiled and reached out and stroked his fingers. "But when we were kids it was the highlight of the week, the gateway to the weekend. Emmett and I would both have a cheeseburger, followed by one of their enormous ice cream sundaes. Have you had those?"

I nodded, but didn't say anything, not wanting to interrupt as he talked.

"Mom would always have a salad and complain about how fattening the food was there, but then she'd always have a sundae too afterwards. My dad didn't always come; he's a doctor, so it depended on his shifts. But when he came he used to calculate how many calories we'd all eaten, and usually tell us that we wouldn't get to eat again until about Sunday afternoon."

My food was warm, and I sat down to eat as I continued to listen to Edward as he talked. He didn't need a lot of prompting, and I realised that it had been years since he had been able to actually talk to anybody. I hated to think about how lonely he must have been these last few years.

After I had eaten we moved into the living room. I put on some music before we sat down on the couch, and immediately wrapped ourselves around each other. It was amazing how quickly we had become familiar with each other - I felt like I'd known him my whole life.

As we sat down something occurred to me, and I looked around the room, suddenly feeling self conscious.

"What is it?" he asked me, sensing immediately that something was wrong.

"Well, it's just, are there lots of other... spirits around us? I mean, right now, are we alone?"

He looked contemplative for a moment, before he shook his head.

"I've never seen another. I've not been around much, I'll admit, but I think I'd know if there was another... _ghost_ around." He smiled as I reacted slightly to his use of the word I hadn't dared breathe. "I don't know any more than I did before, it's not like you die and suddenly get a handbook to being dead or anything... Do you remember that film?"

I nodded and smiled as he grinned.

"But I've never seen another one, and I think if there was another around, I'd have known it."

His words had made another question rise up in my mind. When I said I wanted to know everything I had meant it. I wanted to know everything about his life... and his death.

"What's it like?" I said softly, tightening my grip around his waist as I did. "Dying, I mean. What's it like?"

"It was very... anti-climactic," he replied, looking down at me with a sad smile. "I remember riding my bike along the road, I had my Ipod on, which was probably stupid. Then I remember lying in the street, and feeling cold, but no pain. I was glad when I started to drift off, it felt a lot like going to sleep. I knew what had happened. I was expecting to wake up in the hospital or something, but instead the next thing I knew I was in the library at school, and it was dark.

"I tried to walk out, at first I was very confused, but every time I did, the second I passed through the door I would find myself back at the same spot I had arrived in, close to where you sit.

It wasn't until the first day of school, when I heard a student talking about what had happened, that I realised that I'd died. Everyone was talking about it, people were shocked I think. They spoke about how I'd been taken into the hospital after my accident, but died a few hours later, never having come round again. I heard that my father was the doctor in charge of the ER when I came in, and how he'd fought to save me, and the fact that he'd had to be sedated after I died.

"Emmett didn't start his freshman year until a couple of weeks later, but he doesn't go in the library very often. I only get to see him very occasionally. Usually with the blonde... Rosalie? They look happy."

"They are. She's great for him, and he for her."

"Good." He smiled, but it was a sad smile.

"Why do you think today... this happened?" I waved my hands up and down, not quite sure how to express myself.

"Well, it's Halloween." He looked at me expectantly, but I simply shrugged my shoulders. "Halloween isn't just about candy and pumpkin carving, Bella. It's a very ancient day; I remember reading once that today the wall that divides the living and the dead is at its thinnest. People have been marking this day for thousands of years."

"But... no. You're not dead!" I said firmly, pushing him back against the couch as I pressed my ear to his chest. "Your heart is beating; you're breathing; you're alive."

"I don't want to eat."

"Yet. Maybe that will come with time. Now you're here, who says you have to go back? You said the walls are thinner, maybe you're here to stay."

"Maybe..." He looked at me uncertainly, but maybe was better than no.

"So, you didn't suffer?" I asked him a few moments later. My voice broke as I asked him, but I had to know.

"No. My family suffered far more than I did." His voice sounded pained, and suddenly I cursed myself for my stupidity.

"Oh, my God, Edward, did you want to see them? You have so little time..." I felt selfish. I was keeping him with me, when maybe he actually wanted to be with the people who had loved him in life, rather than me who had only loved him in death.

My stomach seemed to turn to jelly as I realised what I had just thought. _Loved him in death_.

_I loved him. _

"No. I don't want to be anywhere else," he replied, and I couldn't deny that I was relieved. "They got my life, a life which should have been yours if fate had been kinder. We only get one day together, I won't waste a second of it."

He kissed me again, and as our hands moved around each other shoulders, I willed myself to stop counting down the hours until midnight, and at the same time tried not to allow the hope that had begun to grow inside me let loose and bury me alive.

~oOo~

We spent the day like that, talking and kissing, until I knew everything I could possibly learn in just one day. Edward also asked me endless questions; he told me that it had been frustrating sometimes as he listened to me speak, and he had a question that I never answered.

I told him about how much I longed to finish my studies in Paris. I had been accepted at a University there, but I was afraid. I had never even left the US before, the thought of living in Europe for three years terrified me, and not always in a good way. He asked me what I was afraid of, and I couldn't tell him. The unknown felt like too trite an answer, being alone maybe, failure. All the usual things people fear. But he wasn't having any of it. He made me promise him I would go, and because it was him, and we only had today, I did. I promised him that I would go, and at least try.

But in truth I only promised him because deep down, part of me hoped that he would be able to go with me.

The hours flew past, and before I knew it, it was nearly eleven at night. The trick-or-treaters had come and gone, and I'd given them their candy while Edward hid in the living room, terrified that he would be recognised by one of the children.

Rosalie had called, and tried to get me and "Jacob" to come along to the small party that was happening at her house that evening. It was a school night so nothing major had been planned, but still, it was Halloween.

She let me off quickly though when I explained that he would be leaving in the morning, and instead she gave me the "if you can't be good, be careful" speech. I was blushing when I hung up the phone, which made Edward laugh until I refused to tell him what I was blushing about, which led to a great deal of tickling... and a lot more kissing.

But now it was eleven, the day was almost up, and I was afraid. What if we only had one more hour? One more hour with him, then no more? Maybe wasn't yes.

"It will be ok, Bella. You'll be ok," he said, knowing somehow what I was worrying about as I curled into his side on our spot on the couch.

"I won't be ok without you," I said softly, gazing into his clear green eyes. "Promise you'll stay with me. Promise me, _please_." I knew I was asking him the impossible, and I could see the pain I was causing him with my request, but still I asked him.

"I don't want to go," he said, and suddenly his voice was angry. "It's so goddamned unfair. Before I was ok about it, but now... It's just _NOT FAIR!_" He leapt to his feet as he yelled his last few words, and I quickly followed him to where he stopped, looking out of the window into the night.

"Edward, Edward, shh, I'm sorry. I'll be ok, I'm sorry..." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around him from behind, and started to place kisses on his shoulder.

He was as still as a statue, his entire body felt tense under my hands, and I tried to calm him by running my hands up and down his arms rhythmically. "Edward... don't be angry with me."

He twisted in my arms until we were face to face, and he wrapped his arms around me as he tried to smile. "Oh, my beautiful girl, I'm not angry with you. I'm just... I'm so sorry."

I gazed up at him, and as I took in his perfect features that I was certain were made just for me, just as I was made for him.

I was so sorry for everything we would miss out on that should have been ours. Growing up together; prom, graduation, college, and then further on, real life. A marriage, a future, a _life_. All gone because of one cruel twist of fate. So many firsts that we would miss out on, but as I stared into his eyes I knew that there was one I would only want with him.

I took a step backwards, and catching hold of his hands I dragged him with me a few steps towards the door. We were only sure of another hour, one more hour with the love of my life, my soulmate, and I wasn't going to waste it mourning before he had even gone.

"What?" he said, looking at me with a puzzled expression as I dragged him through the living room door. "Where are we going?"

"Come to bed with me, Edward," I whispered shyly. I didn't have the time to be hesitant, and if we would only get one day, I was going to fill every moment of it with loving him.

"_What_?" he squeaked, looking stunned. "No! I mean... _what_? I... I can't." We were at the stairs by now, and by standing on the bottom stair I was almost eye-level with him. He was standing so close to me we were sharing the same breath, and despite his protestations, I could feel his breathing pick up as he looked at me, our mouths nearly touching.

"If we only get one day, Edward, one more hour... I want this. I want you... I've never... before. Have you?" He barked a short laugh of surprise as I asked him this, but he didn't pull away. I curled my hands around his shoulders and pulled him even closer to me, pressing myself against his chest, marvelling at how well we lined up together like this.

"Bella... I had never even kissed a girl before today... I was _fifteen_."

"You're not fifteen now," I replied, and I kissed him hard. After a moment's more hesitation he responded, and suddenly his hands were everywhere.

His hands ran down my sides, stopping on my butt, and I felt him hesitate for a moment before he pulled our hips close together and I felt him for the first time. He moaned as he did it, and the sound of it sent sparks through me. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders, as I clung to him.

"Take me to bed, Edward," I whispered breathlessly when we finally broke for air, and without any more questions he carried me upstairs.

"Which way?" He asked when we reached the top of the stairs, and I pointed him in the right direction without ever taking my lips from his neck. Once I'd tasted him it was like I couldn't stop, I never wanted to stop kissing him, not ever.

We fell on my bed together, and within seconds we were pulling at each other's clothes. We were laying side by side, and I made quick work of the buttons on Edward's shirt, while he pulled my top over my head, exposing my bra.

He hugged me to him, and the sensation of so much skin on skin was almost too much to bear. I just wanted more, and more.

I reached behind me and undid my bra, yanking it off in my hurry to touch him. It wasn't until he gasped that I looked at him, and saw his round eyes staring at my chest.

"I've never..." he whispered, as his hand reached up slowly, and gently cupped my right breast, almost reverently. He bent his head and kissed my nipple tenderly, and I couldn't resist running my fingertips through his hair as he did. He was so beautiful. I took off his glasses and set them to one side so I could really see his features clearly, and as I gazed at him he glanced up at me, and his eyes were full of happiness.

"Bella, I wish..."

"Don't wish, please." I didn't want to think about what was to come, I couldn't bear it.

He looked down at my breast in his hand again, before he suddenly pulled away and sat up.

"Edward?" I scrambled up after him, but he stopped once he was sitting up in the bed. He was pulling on the ring on his pinky finger, and after a moment's struggle he pulled it off. He held it out to me in the palm of his hand.

"It was my grandfather's. I think I must have been buried with it. If things had been different Bella, I know that one day I would have asked you to marry me. I'll never get to do that, but... will you wear my ring?"

"Of course."

He took my left hand and tried to put the ring on my ring finger, but it was too big, so he put it on my middle finger instead. It was a simple gold cygnet ring, with the initial B in the middle of it. He stroked his thumb across it a couple of times, before he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it.

"My grandfather's name was Ben," he said. "But I think the B means more to me now than it ever has before."

I didn't know if when he left me at midnight, whether the ring would as well, but it didn't matter. The gesture was there, and that was what counted.

"Thank you, Edward."

"I love you, Bella," he replied as our lips met, and I was lost.

We fell back on the bed, and before I even realised what he was doing he had finished undressing me, leaving me just in my underwear. He quickly stood up from the bed and finished removing his own clothes, before he eased himself down, covering my body with his in just his boxer briefs a few moments later.

We kissed and held each other, I could feel his arousal at my hip, but he seemed nervous, and I knew that I was too. But I wanted this, more than anything. If we only had today, I wanted everything.

"I haven't got... anything," he whispered as his hips ground into mine. His breath was coming in soft pants in my ear, and I felt utterly surrounded by him.

"I don't care."

"Bella..."

"Edward, you're a ghost, I don't think it matters." It was the truth, and he seemed to agree with me.

He quickly pulled his own underwear off, before looking at me questioningly. I nodded, and he gently eased mine down too, before he leant down, with his body hovering over mine.

He kissed me again, and I responded, pulling him down on top of me until he was cradled between my thighs, and I felt him against me just _there_.

I broke the kiss and looked at him, and as our eyes met he pushed forwards gently. There was pain, but I hardly registered it. When he was fully inside me we both sighed with pleasure, and I hooked my ankles around his knees, pulling him closer to me. All I could think about was that I had to be closer to him. Even now, holding him inside me, I needed to be closer.

"Are you ok, my beautiful girl?" he whispered to me in the dark, and I cupped his face in my hands before I replied.

"I'm perfect. I love you so much, Edward Cullen. Make love to me."

He moved, slowly at first, but soon it was quickly, touching and tasting and filling me over and over as I willed him to stay with me. He was mine, this was meant to be. Not even death could keep us apart.

His breathing grew faster and faster, until he was panting like he was running a race. His expression was full of concentration, but I knew what he wanted for me wasn't going to happen today, but that was ok. All I wanted was to be close to him, for him to be my first, and when it was over I cradled him in my arms and whispered my love for him over and over as he trembled.

"What time is it?" he asked once he had regained his breath. Our bodies were wrapped tightly around each other, clammy to the touch, and I had never felt so wonderful in my entire life.

Until I glanced at my clock.

"Seven minutes before midnight," I replied, and he pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.

"I don't have long."

"No, don't say that. You're here. You don't have to go. You're through whatever wall exists between this world and the other. _Stay with me_."

"I don't know if I can, Bella. But if I can't, I need to know you're going to be ok." He sat up, and turned on my bedside light, revealing his sombre expression to me. "All I need is to know that you'll go on, that you'll live without me. I have to know you're going to be ok."

"Edward..."

"Please Bella, you have to promise me that you'll go on." His voice was firm, but I didn't know how to promise him what he wanted.

"How do I go on, when I know that even if I look for the rest of my life, I'll never find _you_?" Tears spilled from both my eyes suddenly, and I looked at my clock again. Six minutes.

"That's not fair, Bella. If I have to go it will only be because I have no choice, if I think you're unhappy, or might do something stupid..." He suddenly looked at me in horror as my expression didn't change. The idea of suicide suddenly didn't look so bad, now I knew what was on the other side waiting for me.

"_No_," he hissed.

"It makes sense." I whispered, but he was suddenly furious with me.

"No! You can't! Suicide is a mortal sin, if you did that who knows where you'd end up. We might be apart forever. Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

I didn't say a word, and his fury only grew. He grabbed hold of my wrist and squeezed it tightly.

"I said _promise me_. I'm _begging_ you." His lip quivered as he spoke, but his eyes burned like green fire.

"Ow..." He eased up his grip on my arm, but not the ferocity of his stare. "Yes, ok, I promise," I whispered after a few seconds had passed, unable to deny him anything.

"You have to live for both of us now. Live well, do everything, see everywhere. You have to go to Paris; you have to live for me too... _Please_." Tears were leaking from his eyes too now, and I had no choice. How could I refuse him his only wish?

"I promise. But, please, stay with me? I don't want to do it without you."

"I'll try Bella, but... I can already feel it calling me. It won't be long."

"Oh no... oh _please_... oh please stay with me. Please don't..." I looked at my clock, and the minutes were passing us by so quickly. Three minutes. "Kiss me."

He held me close and kissed me firmly, but I could feel the desperation in his lips, as this time he kissed me goodbye. I touched his whole body, trying to memorise him, the feel of his skin, the taste of his breath, but it wasn't enough.

We pulled apart, and the clock read eleven fifty-nine.

"Almost midnight," he said softly, and I wrapped my hands around his, determined to keep him with me.

"Hold on, Edward. Look at me and hold on. Don't let go." His eyes met mine, and a few seconds later I watched from the corner of my eye as the numbers of my clock flicked over to twelve midnight.

I held my breath, but nothing happened. Edward was still sitting there, looking at me as I looked at him, and I couldn't hold in my whoop of joy.

"_Yes_! You're still here! It's midnight and you're still here!" I never let go of his hands, but I was bouncing on the bed in my excitement.

He was still here; we would get to do all those things we didn't think we could. I didn't have to say goodbye to him. I was _never _going to say goodbye to him.

"We'll have to go somewhere, I know. People might recognise you, but it doesn't matter, we'll go to Paris. We'll go now, tonight!" I started to try and climb out of the bed, but Edward held onto my hands tightly, and when our eyes met I registered the sad smile he was giving me.

A solitary tear slid down his face, stopping at his chin, and I knew.

"I think your clock is maybe a little fast," he said, and another tear dropped onto his cheek. "Goodbye my love. Live for both of us. I want to hear about it someday."

"No." I said, but my voice broke as I felt his hands start to feel less... real. "No, just _hold on_. Please. _Please._"

"I love you."

"No. _Don't you dare _say goodbye to me."

But I could feel him fading, and at last I gave in. Tears poured down my cheeks as I searched for the words to say what I needed to. "I... I'm so happy I got to _know_ you, Edward."

He smiled, but as I watched he faded to nothing, barely a shimmer, until that was gone too.

And then I fell to pieces.

~oOo~

I never visited Edward's grave; I knew he wasn't there.

Instead, I thought of him every time I studied in the library for the rest of that year. Every night as I lay in my bed alone. Every time I visited the beach, either with my friends, or just because I needed to go somewhere I could cry without having to make up a reason why. Again.

My senior year passed quickly, and before I knew it graduation was looming. I had never felt him in the library again after Halloween, but nevertheless I still lived in hope. The day of graduation I reawakened an old habit, and was standing at the doors as Simon unlocked them, hoping that maybe just this once, on my last day, he would be there.

But he wasn't.

I sat alone in the library until the first bell went, and as I left I knew for certain that he wasn't here anymore; he never would be. In a way it was comforting; I wasn't leaving him behind today.

I would never have been able to do that.

~oOo~

Today it's Halloween again, only you would hardly know it here in Paris. I have seen a handful of spooky costumes and sweets in shops, but nothing more than that.

But it doesn't matter, as today there's only one thing on my mind.

As I look up the river Seine from my viewpoint at the top of La Tour Eiffel, and gaze upon Paris at twilight, I imagine Edward is here with me. He would maybe put his arm around me as we stared at the beautiful city, keeping me warm in the icy wind that was currently blowing my long hair around my face. I can imagine his expression as we stand here together, and I cling to it, the familiar longing burning deep inside me as the sometimes crippling loneliness I now live with threatens to boil to the surface.

I'm standing still thinking of him, clinging to the railing and looking downwards, thinking how easy it would be, when I feel it.

It's only there for an instant, but I know it's real. I feel his smile ghosting across the bare skin at the back of my neck, exposed by the wind, and tears spring immediately to my eyes at the knowledge that he's here.

"I miss you so much, Edward... But I'm doing it, I'm keeping my promise." I whisper, my voice breaking as I look down at the cygnet ring I now wear on my ring finger on my left hand. There's no reply, but there is a certainty in my mind that somewhere, he knows.

And, somehow, today, that's enough.

**~oOo~**

Thanks for reading!

If you're hanging on for an update of Waking Up, I am getting there. I've just been completely blocked recently after some RL crap, so it's taking a while. Bear with me.

Til next time,

Ria


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